Islam / Me / Reflections

How terrible it is to love something that death can touch …


It was the blessed night of 27th Ramadan last year when you left us. They say your face was so peaceful, shining like the moon and you looked beautiful, an angel.

I can’t believe a year has passed already! It was August 2nd, 2012 when you last visited us with your father and elder brother. How you ran around the house tailing Ammi, Phupho I want to eat chips and I want to drink Tang or Phupho I want to sit on the kitchen counter. If only we had known that it was the last time…

Sabih is five years old now mashaAllah :) You may think he is too young to remember you but you know what? A few months back he went shopping with Baba and Phupho. Suddenly, he pointed to a pair of shoes and said, “Baba look! Aiman had the exact same pair.” He even remembers the kind of shoes you had. He misses you.

Your Mama says your younger brother looks just like you. He is a funny little cheeky monkey :D It breaks my heart that he will never get a chance to get to know you.

People tell me Baba and Mama have still have kept your clothes and shoes and accessories from last Eid. They are still unable to part with it. A month or two back Mama came to visit us with Khala and Areeba. You remember Areeba? Well, they were going through some photo albums and there you were in my birthday pictures :) Mama tried to hide it but she couldn’t and neither could Khala. Both were huddled in a corner crying and comforting each other. I also found you in a wedding video with Baba putting on your shoes, I am still not sure whether I should share that with your parents.

Baba was here last night, the 27th Ramadan of this year. I remember how last year Phupho was forcing him to eat something before he goes back to make the funeral preparations. I don’t know how he was feeling today. He spent the entire night here so I guess he was looking for a distraction, I am not really sure. When I think of his loss I cannot bear to look at him. I cannot talk to him about you. I just can’t.

Sometimes, it may seem like life happened and we have moved on. That Baba, Mama and everyone else only visit your grave on birthdays and anniversaries, that Aapi might not write a post every year but my dear Umme Aiman, no one can replace you. We feel the loss, we deal with the pain. We remember you forever and always …

May Allah Ta’ala bless you and your family with His special blessings and make you the reason your parents attain Jannah. Ameen.

 

13 thoughts on “How terrible it is to love something that death can touch …

  1. As a bereaved parent myself I say yes, you should share that video with her parents. Don’t be afraid to bring tears as tears are very healing. Literally. Toxins are released from your body in those tears and such a weight is lifted from your heart after a good cry. Don’t every be afraid to bring up thoughts of your cousin to her parents. You don’t have to worry that you will be reminding them of their pain because, trust me, it is never gone but it can be softened a bit when someone shares about their lost loved one.

    {{hugs}}

    Lynn

    Like

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